I viewed/listened to this recording of you reading your second draft of research paper #1. While you create transitions between your ideas and you stay in an appropriate verb tense, you need to strengthen your thesis, and reconsider your interpretation of Black men's role in the family. Also, your first body paragraph, which is quite long, recounts the past instances of racism but does not actually provide examples of current struggles Black men face due to racism. As I suggested on your first draft, you should consider breaking up this first body paragraph into two paragraphs.
I viewed/listened to this recording of you reading your second draft of research paper #1. While you create transitions between your ideas and you stay in an appropriate verb tense, you need to strengthen your thesis, and reconsider your interpretation of Black men's role in the family. Also, your first body paragraph, which is quite long, recounts the past instances of racism but does not actually provide examples of current struggles Black men face due to racism. As I suggested on your first draft, you should consider breaking up this first body paragraph into two paragraphs.
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